I’ve been thinking a lot about noisy sex lately. Not because I can hear my neighbors having sex, but because the volume of noise during sex can send some friends, lovers and certainly neighbors over the edge. Then I read this Yahoo news story about the effects of grunting during exercise, and it got me even more curious about the correlation between noise and good sex.
Apparently, some guy was actually thrown out of the gym for grunting too loud. A scientist, who must’ve found himself with loads of free time, conducted two studies about the benefits of grunting during exercise. Some say, including this scientist, that grunting may ensure a better workout and/or improved performance. However, others disagree.
What I want to know is: What about grunting during sex? Deep breathing while having sex helps orgasm along (either by prolonging it or speeding it up, depending where you are on your orgasmic spectrum), say many sexperts.
If that’s the case, I wonder if grunting is an evolved form or variation by which folks are simply breathing deeply during sex? If so, then shouldn't we approve of, encourage and even engage in grunting and grunting loudly, for that matter, when we're getting it on?
Some say no, absolutely not. “I seriously thought she was going to kill me, or that she was dying. All I know is the noises were loud, and I was scared,” said Randy, 42, of a recent partner.
Others say yes to grunting and moaning: “He’s the quietest guy I’ve ever slept with,” said Susan, 32. “Sometimes he never makes a sound, and I have no idea if he’s into it. The only time I hear anything is when he’s about to orgasm, which is when he lets out a small grunt.”
Then Bob, 39, told me: “Nothing turns me on more than when my girlfriend moans. The louder she is, the more turned on I get.”
Of course, sometimes it can get to be too much ... or maybe not: “I used to hear my upstairs neighbors having sex all the time, and it bugged me,” said Alicia, 38. “But then I had a new boyfriend, and we brought out the loudness in each other. After a few weeks, I never heard my upstairs neighbors again. I don’t know if I’m more relieved or embarrassed about that.”
Where do you draw the line between heavy breathing, moaning and sex that’s just way too loud? “He who doesn’t breathe, doesn’t have sex,” said Joseph Kramer, founder of the Erospirit Research Institute, which “explores and teaches the connection between sex and spirituality through video and other media.” (Salon, May 28, 1999)
City living makes loud sex a challenge if you’re into that sort of thing. Sure, you may have to tone it down from time to time, but it’s the small price we pay for living within these 7x7 square miles. Grunting and moaning aside, in the words of Buddha and your yoga teacher, whatever you do, don’t forget to breathe!
Listen to Sex with Emily at www.sexwithemily.com.