You’ve been warned: San Francisco is the best city for singles, according to Forbes.

If you take the logical leap, you may find this bit of news to be promising: More single people must mean we’re all on the fast track to committed bliss.

Well, I’m sorry to report that more single people, especially in this town, simply breeds more single people.

Sure, if you’re looking for fun, a massive online dating pool and a super cool vibe (one of the statistics that pushed SF to number one was our “coolness” factor), you’re psyched.


photography by Jacob Wackerhausen

But if you’re searching for commitment, you may not find it around here. I think it’s because singles in San Francisco are a devoted people who don’t like to lose any members.

Try to remember, if you can, your binge-drinking phase. Whenever you needed to down one more shot, you looked around and all of your friends were happy to saddle up right alongside you. You were never alone in your debauchery.

Perhaps you then entered your health kick phase—you couldn’t possibly make it to all of the meditation circles and yoga classes that came your way.

Like attracts like and singles have a vested interest in keeping their species thriving. Otherwise, Saturday nights become awfully lonely.
 
Keith, an eternally single 41-year-old living South of Market, hates when his best guy friend dates any promising chicks. Keith is the first to point out her fatal flaws, repeatedly, to ensure that he doesn’t lose his valuable wingman.

Kira, 37, who lives in Pacific Heights, drops her female friends from any and all “fun” activities (in other words, what she considers as the domain of singles) once they find a boyfriend. Kira is also searching for someone special, but she has no use for friends who’ve settled down, not when she’s still on the prowl. She views committed friends as a drain on single fun, not unlike a lot of other single people I’ve come to  know and love.

So, if your goal is to stay single, welcome to the best place in America.

xxx
e

Listen to Sex with Emily at www.sexwithemily.com.