Recovering from First Date Sex


by The 4-Way Panel

Dear 4-Way,

I recently went out with a man I met online. We met for a drink first, and we hit it off, so we decided to extend our date and go to dinner too. We had a great connection and we made each other laugh. I was also very attracted to him physically, and I could tell that he felt the same about me. We ended up back at my house for a glass of wine, and we couldn’t keep our hands off each other, so we slept together. On the first date! I really like this guy and I’m worried that sleeping with him means it’s over, that this relationship will go nowhere. Do you think there’s a chance it can work?—BG

Darren    The gay man’s perspective: Darren Maddox

BG, since there’s a little lag time between the time we receive a question and the time we answer it, I’ll bet this one has already worked itself out. But let’s pretend it hasn’t, just for shits and giggles. So now you’re worried that he won’t call you, that he doesn’t respect you, that he thinks you may be the town whore and he should head for the hills before the red light above your door burns out.

Here’s the deal, sweetie, you liked the guy and he liked you, you slept together. It happens—all the time. Is this your first time to let this happen? Do it again. All I’m saying is, if you like him and he likes you, then I don’t see a reason why you shouldn’t go for it if the mood is right. The sex will be passionate—or maybe it’ll be shitty and you’ll know whether you want to move forward with the relationship. If it’s meant to work out, it will. If it isn’t, it won’t. And if it wasn’t ever there to begin with and you were just doing him because you were bored and it was Wednesday then maybe you are the town whore and you should seek help. I’m kidding! Stop beating yourself up about it and be happy that you learned something more about yourself through the process.
Check in tomorrow to read the straight woman's perspective by Rebecca Brown.

The 4-Way is published monthly. If you have a question for our 4-Way panel, please send it to them in care of the editor at To read more of The 4-Way columns or to listen to our podcasts, visit The 4-Way now.

Show Comments ()

Related Articles


Follow Us On