Pranks, Hacks + Hoaxes: A History of San Francisco Activists Taking Creative Pokes at The Man

The Original Fake News: Mark Twain Invents a Massacre (1863)

Generations before Kellyanne Conway ever dreamed up the Bowling Green Massacre, Mark Twain made up a massacre of his own—and wrote a fake news story about it. Yep, back in 1863 the writer used his talents to satirize a stock dividend fraud by a San Francisco water company; he reflected on his financial hoax years later:

The San Francisco papers were making a great outcry about the iniquity of the Daney Silver-Mining Company, whose directors had declared a "cooked" or false dividend, for the purpose of increasing the value of their stock, so that they could sell out at a comfortable figure, and then scramble from under the tumbling concern. And while abusing the Daney, those papers did not forget to urge the public to get rid of all their silver stocks and invest in, sound and safe San Francisco stocks, such as the Spring Valley Water Company, etc. But right at this unfortunate juncture, behold the Spring Valley cooked a dividend too! And so, under the insidious mask of an invented "bloody massacre," I stole upon the public unawares with my scathing satire upon the dividend cooking system. In about half a column of imaginary human carnage I told how a citizen had murdered his wife and nine children, and then committed suicide. And I said slyly, at the bottom, that the sudden madness of which this melancholy massacre was the result had been brought about by his having allowed himself to be persuaded by the California papers to sell his sound and lucrative Nevada silver stocks, and buy into Spring Valley just in time to get cooked along with that company's fancy dividend, and sink every cent he had in the world.

Read Twain's fake news story at hoaxes.org.

The Great Cockroach Caper: Attn: Health Department! (1965)

For years, Mission District renters had made multiple complaints about substandard living conditions, but still had a hard time getting the attention of City Hall, whose protection they sought against slumlords. The Health Department simply refused to send inspectors into Mission apartments. Enter activist Norma Melbourne, who paid neighborhood children a penny for every cockroach they could gather and then marched down to the office of Health Department Director Dr. Ellis Sox with a half-dozen milk jugs stuffed with the bugs. "Get the Black Flag!" Sox reportedly yelled when Melbourne liberated the critters in his office. As Wild Wes relates on his Castro/Mission Walking Tour: "Channel 7 got it on film, and Mission renters got their inspections."

Read more about Mission activists and their other antics at foundsf.org.

Holy Crap: The St. Stupid's Day Parade Roasts Religion and Money (Est. 1970s)

Founded by San Franciscan Ed Holmes in the 1970s, First Church of the Last Laugh (FCLL) hosts its annual St. Stupid's Day parade on April Fool's day in the Financial District. Join your brethren at Stations of Stupid stops at the Federal Reserve Bank, where supplicants bless the Fed by donating losing lottery tickets; the former Pacific Stock Exchange building for a sock exchange; and The Banker's Heart, on the corner of Kearny and California, to give thanks by showering pennies on the black granite sculpture. As the church's online FAQ explains, FCLL claims to the be world's largest church, "Because all other religions are based on fear and guilt. Before fear and guilt can work, you must have stupidity."

There, I fixed It: Billboard Liberation Front Helps Exxon With Its Messaging (1989)

After Exxon apparently failed to take sufficient responsibility for dumping 11 million gallons of crude oil into Prince William Sound, San Francisco's Billboard Liberation Front decided to step in with an assist. A group of BLF pranksters changed the messages on two local billboards from "Hits Happen-New X-100" to the crude paraphrase of the oil company's explanation of the accident: "Shit Happens-New Exxon."

Shits and Giggles: Proposition to Rename a Sewage Treatment Plant After George W. Bush Qualifies for the Ballot (2008)

An innocuous sounding group called the Presidential Memorial Commission of San Francisco garnered nationwide press coverage for Proposition R, a 2008 ballot initiative to rename the Oceanside Water Treatment Plant after George W. Bush. The official voters' guide arguments, both for and against Prop. R, seemed primarily written to trade insults at 43, to wit:

Argument for: Just as France presented the Statue of Liberty as its gift to the nation, the citizens of San Francisco may now bestow their own special gift to the country by renaming our award-winning wastewater treatment plant in honor of outgoing President George W. Bush.

Argument Against: Maybe it would be more appropriate to name the local bankruptcy court or a consumer credit counseling center after Bush? Besides, if we name the local sewage plant after Bush, then what's left to name after Jesse Helms?

The measure ultimately failed.

The Unusual Suspects: A Cadre of Wise Guys Run for Mayor of SF

Since pretty much anybody can run for San Francisco mayor (the 2019 election requires just 1,000 signatures or a filing fee of $500), over the years, pretty much everybody has—from punk singers to broke-ass bloggers. Here are few colorful troublemakers who've run for mayor over the years.

• Jello Biafra. Best known as the former lead singer/songwriter for the SF punk band Dead Kennedys, Biafra ran for the mayor's office in 1979 under the slogan "There's always room for Jello." Although his platform had a few solid planks—Biafra wanted to legalize squatting in vacant tax-delinquent buildings and allow the people to elect the police officers who would patrol their neighborhoods— Biafra's campaign included a few creakers, too, such as forcing businessmen to wear clown suits within city limits and allowing Parks and Rec to sell eggs and tomatoes for people to throw at them.
• Chicken John Rinaldi. A man of many talents—the showman, activist, events producer, and author was also part of the group that got Prop. R on the 2008 ballot—Chicken John ran for mayor in 2007 on a traditional progressive platform, but confessed that he found the issues we face endless. He described his campaign as an opportunity to examine the political apparatus of San Francisco: "Because this time it's not all gonna be two dickheads eating each other alive to look good. To win. Winning is overrated. The process, and being present for it, is the real win, and a protest vote for second place that makes a small dent is better than what anyone else is offering."
• Broke-Ass Stuart. Mostly known for his writings about living on the cheap, Stuart is a self-described "motherfucking hustler." In the 2015 election, Stuart ran on a platform he crisply described as "I'm not Ed Lee. Make more affordable housing. Get the homeless off the street and off of their feet. Eliminate human poop from the streets. A public advocate's office to fight corruption." Running for mayor also gave a boost to the readership of his 2015 voter guide.

No One Is Safe: The SF Mime Troupe Skewers Everyone for Over 50 Years

To properly ridicule the theatrics of the powerful, it's only natural that individuals form theater groups. One of the earliest and longest lived local groups is the Tony Award–winning San Francisco Mime Troupe. In its free shows—primarily performed in parks in the Bay Area but also in Europe, Asia, and Central and South America—there's scarcely a social injustice the troupe hasn't poked at under the limelight. The 2015 play Freedomland dealt with police violence, drug laws, and illegal immigration; last year's play, Schooled, was an apparently prophetic satire on what happens when schools are privatized by corporate interests. We can't wait to see what they do with Trump.