If you prefer deceased rock legends to nut-cracking soldiers and vixens to fairies, hit up Smuin’s Christmas Ballet for this year’s dose of athletic holiday cheer. Blue Christmas-crooning Elvis catches shrieking blondes and hoists them over his head while his hips gyrate wildly. A mini-skirted flirt bats her lashes for diamonds and a line of stool-wielding vamps oust the Sugar Plum Fairy. Drooping evergreens get the chainsaw and a woman eludes her very persistent date.
With new numbers (from Amy Seiwert and Amy London this year) cycling out older pieces, Smuin is constantly hitting refresh on this frothy San Francisco tradition. The first act is an elegantly swaying tribute to traditional carols and choral masterworks, with a few horny Jewish boys tossed in for good measure. The second act tosses the pristine white pointe shoes in favor of red lace, stilettos, and the occasional bikini for a hefty dose of seasonal misbehavior.
Through December 24. Yerba Buena Center for the Arts, 701 Mission St. Tickets are $20-62 at (415) 978-2787 or smuinballet.org.