I’m a 40-year-old woman contemplating a boob job, but every guy I know seems to respond negatively to the idea, saying fake boobs feel terrible. Are breast implants a turn-on or turn-off?

He Said: Guys are most attracted to women who feel good about themselves, especially as they get older. A hot, young chick can be surly, depressed, boring, untrustworthy, or annoying and still have guys trailing after her. But women and men attract the partner they deserve as the years go by. The real question is not what will your guy friends think, but how will you feel if your breasts are firmer, possibly larger, but probably less sensitive? The statistics say that most women are glad they had work done, so that’s encouraging.While taking some time to make this decision, relax and try to find ways to expand your sexuality. Some people positively ooze sex appeal well past their physical prime, while others have never seen a day outside the subprime market.

She Said: I know what you mean. Every single one of my male friends who have encountered fake boobs makes a squished-up face when describing how they feel. Frankly, I think they like how they look but not how they feel. So keep that in mind. Are you more concerned with impressing a man visually or on a tactile level?

More importantly, since it’s possible you’ll feel less sensation after surgery, are you most concerned with looking sexy or with feeling sexual (assuming your breasts have been a source of pleasure for you)? These two experiences are tightly linked for women, so here’s your chance to do some crucial self-examination. The timing is just right since you’re hitting middle age. In my experience, a woman’s sexual appeal has much more to do with the way she moves than the way she looks. If the fakes are going to make you glide through your days, inhabit your body more fully, smile with your eyes as well as your mouth, breathe more deeply, and hear music in your head as you amble down the street, and you’re willing to feel less sensation there and possibly turn off a few guys in bed, then get ’em. But if you can achieve any of that with a Wonderbra, a little imagination, and an attitude adjustment, give those a fair shot before going under the knife. Sensuality is every woman’s birthright, and it certainly doesn’t begin waning until long after 40—in fact sometimes, it’s just beginning.

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Illustration by Marcos Chin