I’m dating a guy who has recently been making some not-too-subtle hints that I wax. He says we will both enjoy sex better. I'm naturally a bit furrier than average, and fulfilling this request would present a near constant and painful challenge. I’ve told him I’ll wax when he does. That seems fair to me, but he's not taking my response seriously.

He Said: Over the years, this whole bald thing seems to have evolved from a competitive dating advantage to a prerequisite for many guys. And frankly, it's time a man stood up and said it: There's a Lolita aspect to overzealous waxing that's just creepy. But hey, sociopolitical analyses aside, but people like what they like. And while your feisty comeback is admirable, it probably won't make for good sex.

So why not take a more middle-road approach? Try a trim. You can even get creative: a heart for Valentine's Day, a shamrock for St. Paddy's. See how that goes, and save waxing only for special occasions like his birthday or your anniversary.

She Said: I have a feeling we've stumbled on a sexual minefield here, to which I have several responses, United-States-of-Tara fashion:

The Self-Respecting Feminist: Exactly what you said. When he shaves, you shave. When he waxes, you wax. Besides, this whole thing has gotten crazy, grown women running around trying to look like 10-year-olds. One more expensive, time-consuming, painful ritual that keeps us too busy and stressed out to actually relax and enjoy sex!

The Self-Empowered Sexual Being: Try it, you might find that you like it. It actually does increase sensation, and it looks pretty, and so what if there are Lolita fantasies lurking beneath it all? You are two consenting adults. Sex is play and fantasy is legal. Get creative. If you don't like it, or don't like the price of the upkeep, then abandon it. What's the harm in checking it out? And yes, if you honestly want him to do it too, ask him. Or rather, make him. You know how. Wink wink.

The Mature, Rational Woman: Compromise is the essence of relationship. Take the Man's advice and do a little trimming and see if that works for both of you.

I'd say you can choose which of these identities fits you most right now, and take that route.

photo: Flickr/The Arches