That means it's time for our weekly recap from Eater SF, where Eater editor Paolo Lucchesi gives his report on all the restaurant news from the last seven days. Hold on.

1) The big news of the week broke on Monday morning, when the secret location of Smuggler's Cove was ceremoniously revealed. Martin Cate's super-tiki bar isn't due until November, but it's already causing all kinds of buzz among the cocktail sect. And it's going to be in Hayes Valley.

2) Sadly, Eater's field trip to the Aspen Food & Wine Classic had to come to an end, but not before some final reflections on the star-studded weekend in a little feature called Hangover Observations.

3) Roland Passot kinda had a bad week.

4) Tadich Grill holds the title of the city's oldest restaurant, but the silver medalist in that category is Bayshore Boulevard's less-glorified Old Clam House, which is now on the market. Own a piece of San Francisco history! And its hookers!

5) The latest pizza place in the Mission will be called Pi Bar,and with questions swirling around the local blogosphere, the new bar simply put up a storefront note, addressing any and all concerns. NB: they didn't get rid of the Suriya elephant mural.

6) In a week that witnessed several notable openings—including the Embarcadero's Plant Cafe—the biggest newcomer of the week slid under the radar: Commis in Oakland, by Manresa acolyte James Syhabout.

7) Fast food shills reached unprecedented levels of sleazeball with Burger King's new ad for its seven-inch cheeseburger. The doll-like appearance is there for extra misogyny.