Your St. Patty's Day beer guzzling alternatives ...

Music
Girl Talk
Score a ticket (via Craigslist) and see what tricks Greg Gillis has up his sleeve.
When: 9 p.m.; Fri. 3/18
Where: Fox Theater, 1807 Telegraph Ave., Oakland

Lit
Pop-Up Magazine
Catch the next iteration of Pop-Up Magazine's live lit performance, Sidebar, centered around the science and culture behind wine in combo with the museum's current exhibit. More info here. 
When: 9 p.m.; Thurs. 3/17
Where: SFMOMA, 151 Third St.

Art
Bouquets to Art
Put on a pretty, spring party dress and play girly-girl for the de Young's annual Bouquets to Art series featuring more than 140 outrageous floral arrangements inspired by the museum's permanent collection.
When: Tues. 3/15 - Sat. 3/19
Where: de Young, 50 Hagiwara Tea Garden Dr.

Music
Zion I
Fave local hip-hop duo will preview their collab with The Grouch, Heroes in the Healing of the Nation, before the album hits stores on 3/22.
When: 9 p.m.; Sat.. 3/19
Where:The Fillmore, 1805 Geary Blvd.

Sports
B.ay A.rea D.erby Girls
Oakland Outlaws will battle it out with the Berkeley Resistance at this roller derby bout. It's something every true San Franciscan should see.
When: 8 p.m.; Sat. 3/19
Where: Craneway Pavillion, 1414 South Harbor Way, Richmond

Art
Lunar Mission Art Party
8 galleries, 1 night (on the evening of a full moon) of art in the Mission to recognize the importance of art in the community—Eleanor Hardwood Gallery, Galeria de la Raza, Gallery Hijinks, Guerrero Gallery, Kadist Art Foundation, Southern Exposure, Steven Wolf Fine Arts, and Triple Base.
When: 7-10 p.m.; Sat. 3/19
Where: Various venues in the Mission