If you've ever forcibly restrained yourself from hurling a rotten tomato at Othello or a past-its-prime pepper at Curley, this weekend's Off-Market special should prove quite satisfactory.

Following tonight and Saturday's performance of ShortLived - Pianofight's play competition judged by you and your cunning pencil of incisive insight - cast members will don white t-shirts, pass out vegetables, and then brace themselves for a whirling maelstrom that would make any greengrocer sob. While dodging missiles of scurvy destruction, the actors will present a sketch comedy set tailored for maximum celery slinging possibilities: Bertolt Brecht getting drunk, Ben Barnanke proffering stock tips, George Bernard Shaw haranguing a small child, and the highly anticipated return of the Veggie Magnet. Pianofight provides the squishy produce and you provide the arm.

Here's a preview from the original and much-acclaimed Flying Veggie Bonanza, compliments of YouTube.

May 14-15 at Off-Market Theaters, 965 Mission Street. Tickets are $25 at pianofight.com.